A Grip On reality

Dear friends and travel watchers;

I am a little perturbed by those of you who have expressed concern over my relationship with Penelope.

I am also unclear as to whether you realise that I am using her as a literary tool.

GET A GRIP ON REALITY, DEAR READERS - PENELOPE IS A STUFFED TOY KOALA !

Anyone reading this should understand that my sense of identity is strong enough to negate the possibility of a cross-cultural relationship with an artificial marsupial.
(Not that I haven't tried, but the differences between us have proven insurmountable).

I just wanted to make that clear.  And so did she.