A Grip On reality

Dear friends and travel watchers;

I am a little perturbed by those of you who have expressed concern over my relationship with Penelope.

I am also unclear as to whether you realise that I am using her as a literary tool.

GET A GRIP ON REALITY, DEAR READERS - PENELOPE IS A STUFFED TOY KOALA !

Anyone reading this should understand that my sense of identity is strong enough to negate the possibility of a cross-cultural relationship with an artificial marsupial.
(Not that I haven't tried, but the differences between us have proven insurmountable).

I just wanted to make that clear.  And so did she.

A Day Apart

(cough) Another sunny day in central China.

The wonderful thing here is that (cough) you just can't get sun burnt - the air pollution is so thick that (cough) it feels like no rays of sun ever reach the ground.
I did see the sun for a bit (cough) - we were on a hike in the mountains and the sky was quite blue. We (cough) hiked up the shady side of the hill, but when afternoon arrived the (cough) sun just illuminated the pollution particles and a thick pall surrounded us.

It may be why most motorcycles here are electric and not powered by gasoline. This makes the cities quieter, unlike Bangkok or Tel Aviv that have a constant buzz of motorcycle engines. Of course, no self respecting bike rider here would put on his headlights at night and pedestrians are constantly walking into the paths of motorbikes silently floating towards them in the dark.

What with everything going on with (cough) you know who, I decided I would leave her at the hotel today to cool off; we needed time apart. It seems that I also needed to reestablish my (cough) manhood and I went out to do a bit of flirting. Must be a mid life crisis thing.

Together with two blokes from the hostel, I rode a bicycle for 14 km along the top of the ramparts surrounding this city and it felt good. Unfortunately, any views of the city (cough) faded away sharply in the polluted air. It was horrific. At some point my eyes started stinging and my lungs felt slightly queasy.

We finished the ride and wandered into one of the city's lovely parks. A terrific treat on a Sunday afternoon, the park being full of city residents spending a day with the family. The three of us watched the fashions of the lovely girls in high boots and short skirts, and it felt disgustingly macho.

Being white guys we were instant celebrities and, as has happened to me here so often before, numerous local girls and young women (and even on occasion, young men...!) came up and asked to be photographed with us. Some thanked us (cough) kindly, while a couple of them even gave me a warm hug. It was unexpected (but, let's face it, not surprising - I've still "got it" - don't I?). Their boyfriends looked on non plussed or even took the photos. Now what was that all about?

Attached is a picture I took of a young woman at the summer palace in Beijing. The palace temple is built high on a hill in the background. It is an imposing structure, with sharp, distinct colours seen from the entire area. Or at least it was built that way. As you can see from this picture, the temple in the background is virtually invisible in the polluted haze of the air. Now do you believe me about the pollution?

Pollution, warm smiles and hugs. Oh yes, I've still 'got it'. Koala be damned.

But I do miss her. The good times, the warm moments shared. The special secrets between us, the intimacy of knowing that one side of her label says "Kid's Toys, Sydney Australia" while the other side says "Made in China".

Today proved itself a necessary foray into the world of self justification and ego reinforcement. Maybe it was an unavoidable breakdown but I must recognise my part in it. We will work it out. That is what relationships are about.

I must get back to the hostel to see how her day was. And to get my lungs steam cleaned.

Take care of your loved ones.
Your love sick traveller

Warriors to Worry About

Shavua Tov

We have found ourselves in t Xian (pronounced shee-ann), a city surrounded by an extensive wall and full of friendly smiling people.
It's relatively small as towns go but there are people everywhere. According to the stats, 3.2 million people live here. Oh my God...

Xian is most famous for being the home of the Terracotta Warriors, 6000 life size soldier statutes buried around the tomb of the Emperor Qin Shi Huangdi.

The bus deposited us at the site entrance together with a steady stream of other buses offloading an unending number of Chinese tourists. Despite the human flow, we anchored ourselves at the entrance gate and managed to recruit other lone Westerners to join us in hiring an English speaking guide. This was a good move, and our tour kicked off, fighting its way among the crowds.

I was trying to focus on the guide's Chinese accented English when a commotion could be heard going on down in the excavations. Green uniformed guards were racing down to the pits, and it was all quite frightening. There must have been 1,000 Chinese tourists there, so us English speakers were swamped. I was just glad it had nothing to do with me.

I looked over to Penelope and realised...she had gone!

A cold sweat ran over me as I looked back at the burgeoning crowd around us. And then the awful truth bore out; in her excitement, the little animal had jumped down into the pits and started play acting excitedly on these ancient, priceless statutes.
I was beside myself.

It took just over 45 minutes to push my way through the multitude, (together with my guide, who wanted to first negotiate a cash deposit for these new services as my 'representative'), to get hold of her. Of course we had to go back to the local Peoples' Committee Security Room where we were grilled for 2 hours. (It was especially complicated because P had entered the country on my visa).

Attached is a photo taken by the security cameras.

We filled out dozens of forms which I didn't understand and made it back to the hotel by early evening, exhausted.

Of course we had another row about her irresponsible behaviour and I ended up telling her to get stuffed, which is quite unfair really, because she is just so full of beans.

Wish us luck.

Alan

Travel Correspondence

Dear (insert your name here...)
I trust this correspondence finds you in good health.
We have been travelling for well nigh 2 weeks and an eternity may have passed for the experiences which I have collected on the way.
My limbs ache from the efforts expended in sightseeing and a relaxing trip this has been not.

This day past I have spent with my constant companion, dearest Penelope, examining caves cut into mountain sides hither, containing thousands of effigies of the Buddha carved into the very living rock. As can be seen from the attachment, dearest Penelope has made the acquaintance of numerous members of the local clergy. How affable she is!

We were of good fortune to have been escorted by a lovely tourist from London, of Korean origin, continually addressed in Chinese by the locals. Her one sentence in Scottish accented Chinese is "I am Korean. I can't speak Mandarin".

The sights we have seen, including on this day past, have been surely some of the greatest in the world, but for the bloody awful air pollution that covers the country rendering visibility about 10% at times. So forget the admission fees to any of the sites and just stay home and watch a movie. You'll see more and breathe better.

Happy felicitations to you (insert your name here).

Affectionately yours.

Master Alan, Esq.

Temple of Heaven in a Heavenly City

One thing you can say about these Chinese - they sure have interesting architecture.

Most amazing is the size of all the royal compounds to be found within the precinct of Beijing, and all are cities within themselves.

The Forbidden City is only one example. One can gain insight into the enormous power of this great empire by visiting the residences of those who held that power: the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, the Temple of Heaven.

(The attached photo is from the Temple - Penelope took it. She is definitely getting better at handling the reflex camera with the big lens).

The greatness lorded by the Empire's royal dynasties over the individual has been replaced by the current communist regime, in which the individual is but a tiny cog in the social machinery. 

Huge buildings and piazzas are designed to make the state apparatus feel big and the individual feel small. Today, people wear uniforms or armbands of one kind or another - giving them a defined place in the larger apparatus that rules supreme.

But is that a bad thing? Does the individual in such a system forfeit his/her own identity in favour of the larger system or does he/she, with a defined position, entrench his/her identity?

By critiquing subjugation of the individual to the larger system, am I just looking to capture, retell and reinforce my own prejudices and preconceived biases against communism?
That is, of course, the downfall of the casual tourist.

I feel safe, the people here are (on the whole) friendly and I don't feel the dark state apparatus that I was brought up to expect of a communist country. So let's keep it all in perspective.

Apart from that, I am just dealing with little Penelope.

Relationships are difficult at the best of times and traveling is a good way of seeing whether two people get on. She had a good sleep last night and was feeling better today, so we had a good day, hiking 15km through a valley called Three Gods Head Mountain. (Well I hiked; she came along for the ride, peeking out of the top flap of my pack. Chivalry is not dead!)

We are already on to a new city - Luoyang - nursing my sore thighs.

I am typing this on the guest computer in the hotel lobby while P has a shower; I hope she finishes washing her hair by the time I finish writing this and get back to our room!

Check you later

Al

Soldiers Make Me Safe

Hi Guys,

It is so safe here.

There is no personal crime (apart from theft). Wonderful. So good for us foreigners. A dream land. I especially feel safe with all the security everywhere. Soldiers parade around town, especially Tienanmen square. In fact the soldiers are everywhere - every shop, many businesses. Military guards strut around in green uniforms and white gloves, looking like tin soldier robots.

Yes it is safe here for us travellers because one step out of line by a local may bring consequences that don't bear considering.

And of course the supervision is great! There are closed circuit cameras in the public squares, streets, hotel corridors and public buildings - everywhere. I just know that my stuff is safe because those in control are watching out for my welfare.

Attached is a shot I took just outside the forbidden city, as my protectors strutted their stuff and displayed a strong presence.

Israeli soldiers look like slouches by comparison. But the Israelis ask questions first and only shoot later. I know which I prefer. I guess I am a bit homesick...

I hope you are all safe

love Al

PS:
We are in the small village of Shaolin, 9 hours south of Beijing, the birthplace of Kungfu. But not of sewerage apparently.

And they can't speak English. Nada. Gurnisht.
"Wo bu ming pai" (I don't understand) has been my most useful sentence. They just ignore it and blabber on. I have tried discussing this with Penelope but she is going through her own issues - she is not very happy with our dirty bathroom (it may be a 'sit down' - but it's still too big for her, so she is still annoyed). So I have been very much alone while she sulks in my bag.

But I am thinking of you all, wishing you were here to enjoy with us all the local customs - the constant snorting and spitting and the ongoing hunt for usable toilet paper (good thing I stole some from the hotel in Beijing), the ubiquitous lit cigarettes (the locals seem to light up whenever they are in a confined space without ventilation - buses, elevators, restaurants and the like). It's also quite an exciting challenge when people lie to you in a foreign language (it's all Chinese to me...)

We saw a great sunset tonight and will be climbing a mountain tomorrow so we are looking forward to less snorting and sewerage, and more waterfalls.

As ever
Your intrepid travellers

A huge, Great Wall

Hi Guys,

Some of you know that I never travel alone and this trip is no exception. Penelope is with me and as usual she is great company.

We were out walking in the countryside the other day when came across this huge, Great Wall.
It was mind-blowing how it snaked across the hills.

I took in the surroundings trying to work out where we were. Suddenly, a local villager came running the other way screaming something which, with my poor Chinese language skills, sounded like "The Mongols are coming!" (but I may be wrong because I am not fully aware of past and future tenses in Mandarin).
Anyway, we climbed up the wall and I managed to get a shot of Penelope surveying the landscape. She got a bit peeved because she doesn't like portrait shots, but I think she looks great.

We are on our way down south tomorrow, so I may correspond from there. Love to the family.

Al.

Beijing's Lovely Ladies

I love the ladies of Beijing.

So warm and friendly.
If you have not spent time with them, then you don't know what you are missing!

My Beijing

I think this photo says it all.
I hope you are all having as much fun as I am.
Alan