The Sydney Oprah House

That’s what the world famous Opera House has been called this week in honour of a visit by the illustrious Oprah Winfrey to Sydney.

Her Australia visit began in Melbourne.

A radio blared in the background as I donned my bicycle helmet. The radio announcer advised motorists to avoid Melbourne's Federation Square downtown, as Oprah would be making an appearance there and the streets would be clogged.

I pulled my bike out of the garage. Instinctively I looked up at the helicopters buzzing around in circles, hovering over the downtown area about 5km away. Well, I reasoned, a spectacle is always worth a gander*. I mounted the bike and headed down to the Yarra River trail, a stunning, leafy path that would lead me unhindered directly to Fed Sq.

She really is amazing, that Oprah. This bastion of women’s pride is so popular that she even brought 300 of her US studio audience with her to Australia to film two episodes of her show. While here, the audience members were showered with free gifts such as laptops, handbags and jewellery. Imagine how popular politicians would be if they gave free gifts to potential voters. Oh, I forgot, they do.

But she’s no fool that Oprah.

She managed to arrange for Tourism Australia to sponsor her 300 strong US audience entourage. A special Oprah tram rumbled down to Fed. Sq. with her special guests. Meanwhile thousands of Australian fans packed into the area.

My bike skidded to a halt in front of the now empty stage which bore a huge motif welcoming the mega star to Australia. Although I was only 15 minutes late, the short lived spectacle was over and only a few stragglers remained. A woman with a small camera approached me. “Just knocked off work and thought I’d pop by for a sticky beak**. Apparently she only stayed ten minutes and then left. People were pissed. Wanna photo in front of the stage? You can show your friends overseas that you were at an Oprah event!”

Behind me a weary young woman and her son stood holding a home made banner extolling their love for Ms Winfrey. A TV crew filming a live report for the nightly news used the attractive Oprah fan as a backdrop. The cameraman counted down with his fingers and then pointed to the woman to smile for the camera. She smiled on cue and another trustworthy TV broadcast was successfully made.

So now I can really say it. I was at an Oprah performance (sort of).

My life is now complete.

* A look

** Cockney rhyming slang meaning "a peek"